Thursday, May 19, 2011

What Does 'Taking a Break' in Dating Mean?

During Christina and Paul's time together in their three-year relationship, both of them have encountered life's greatest moments along with relationship hurdles that both have successfully overcome. Acknowledging that this couple has weathered through the growing pains of developing a new relationship, it only seems practical for one to think that marriage may be around the corner. Friends of this couple envy Christina and Paul's chemistry together, their lifestyle and their comfort level around one another. What people do not know about this glamorous couple is that they are actually contemplating 'taking a break'? Excuse me, what? What does exactly 'taking a break mean'? Countless stories swirl around of couples that appear content that choose to take time apart from one another.

A hopeless romantic would ask themselves, "Can't Christina and Paul just take a few days apart, such as a vacation, if either one is yearning for physical and mental space?" A skeptic would probably think, "I knew something was up because their dating life appeared too good to be true." Of course the cynic would say, "Told you so," with their eyes rolling as this news is an everyday occurrence. Here are few possible reasons why some couples may consider taking a break:

* It is only natural that people evolve with time and experiences that one may want to reassess what they want in life. Spending time alone only reinforces their inner needs and wants.
* Some individuals become too dependent upon their partner that they need to reclaim their independence and identity.
* Life presents some insurmountable challenges within and outside the relationship that one must question what is a deal breaker in a relationship (finances, no marriage in sight, infidelity, addiction, etc.).
* Third parties (past lovers, new lovers, family) intruding into the couples' personal life starts taking its toll on the relationship where trust and values are in question.
* Basically taking a 'time out' of a relationship forces individuals to grow on their own rather than being associated under one character (morphing into one personality, one belief system, identity.)

Is 'taking a break' a new fad? Not really. It some cases 'taking a break' can save a relationship than the couple suddenly giving up on it. More so this break enables a couple from slowing down a relationship that is moving too fast since such relationships burn out fast due to lack of nurturing, which only comes with time. In other cases it is necessary to address any concerns existing in a relationship so the relationship can move accordingly forward or cease in time. It is up to the individual to decide how they will capitalize upon the time available; as well how to move forward with new realizations during their time apart from their partner.
What behaviors are permissible while 'taking a break'? This is to be addressed by the couple who decides to take time apart whether it is intended to be temporary or meant to be permanent. Some couples explicitly state that they do not want their partner dating others or engaging in romantic liaisons, making major life decisions without the partner's input, interacting with the partner's family and more. To the contrary, there are couples that abruptly decide to take a break thus yielding a very ambiguous situation where the partners have not addressed what are the relationship deal breakers while spending time apart.

Overall taking a break encourages a couple to reassess themselves, their relationship and life overall.

* Warning: Think twice before taking a break because some people may never return from this break!

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