Monday, May 23, 2011

The One that Got Away

There is no introduction needed for this topic since the first thought that pops into our minds upon reading the title is of a loved one who somehow slipped through our fingers and ultimately out of sight.   This someone was the special person in one's life that basically got away.   Chances are high the person who let them get away is still emotional over this reality and wondering where their beloved is today. A common question I receive is, “why would a person let a loved one get away”?   Well, the best way to discover the answer was by interviewing some men and women (10 men, 10 women) who acknowledged having a love in their life whom they had let 'get away'.   
Four out of ten men admitted they were emotionally immature while they were courting their special partner to even realize what was happening to them in their personal life.  Three men admitted being married to their careers while the latter three as well confessed to taking their partner for granted.    When asked if and how these men would have addressed this dilemma differently, seven men claimed to reconsider their decision to walk away from their partner, per se letting the 'one get away'.   The remaining three men felt that everything happens for a reason therefore there is no need to regret the past and its ramifications.    
When the women were asked the same questions, they appeared more reminiscent of their dating experiences.    Six out of ten women admitted they were ready to commit to their partner if their partner offered long-term commitment to them, while the latter four delivered different feedback.  Two women took responsibility for being overbearing that when they let their love 'get away' while they didn't want to complicate things further by asking for another chance.  Surprisingly, one women acknowledged she was not worthy of being granted a second chance.   Meanwhile the other two women felt that one cannot make their love stay if they were already determined to check out of the relationship. 
The interesting part of my conversation with these candidates verified one consistent theme--all of these candidates strongly believed they let a great person get away.  While one cannot control the universe,   twelve out of the twenty candidates were lucky to find love again.  This time these twelve members chose to work harder to sustain a relationship after acknowledging their short comings the first time around.  
This exercise makes one wonder how often does the universe grant people a second chance at love.   It all comes down to being open to new opportunities, wherever and whenever, more so with whomever.
Fortunate are those who receive second chances because second chances are not granted, they are earned. 
*Demographics of candidates for this study are the following: 10 men and 10 women between the ages of 34 and 52.  Prerequisite to qualify for survey: candidates have dated long-term (at least 12 months) and/or engaged in relationships for at least three years (36 months).

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