Getting Ex'ed by Text

Here is an interesting excerpt from Mimi Tanner's column, people read this s-l-o-w-l-y.

"How should one respond to such a text message? Please don't dignify that with ANY response - at least not by text.  And the little "holiday texts" - are you supposed to be impressed or consoled by those? If those are  all that's left after the Breakup Text, they're equally lame and ridiculous! They're annoying, too.  You don't really want your pleasant day to be interrupted by Mr. I'm-Sure-You-Want-To-Get-My Happy-Mothers-Day-Text.

When a person gets Exed by Text, the best response is DEAD SILENCE. Nothing is more effective than that. And no one can fault you for it, either. If your ex gets mad about your lack of response to their Text Drama, then consider their anger to be a form of manipulation. Don't let it guilt you into a response you were not planning to make. If he asks you (in person) if you got his "Happy Easter" text, just say "Yeah, I got it," without further comment or emotion of any kind. You're not trying to keep the conversation going anymore. You have moved on!"

Now coming back to the present if anyone out there needs a little nudge in breaking up from their partner, Ms. Wake Up will be glad to put things into perspective for you as well write a letter on your behalf addressed to the one getting ex'ed. The letter is to assist you in delivering the break-up news, whether it relayed via an email, a phone call or in-person.

Do not join the ignorant men and women who lack the decorum of relaying news face to face. After all, possessing dignity means knowing how to handle life circumstances with tact and diplomacy regardless of the personalities involved.

If you haven't found Mr.Right, no worries, there are plenty of Mr. Right Now's swimming among us. ;)

Breaking Up with a Post-It Note

Remember the episode where Carrie gets dumped by her boyfriend "Berger" in 'Sex and the City'?   Loyal viewers of the show knew that Berger wasn't the one for Carrie though he did make a decent companion for her to date while taking a break from her two loves, Mr. Big and Aidan.    Berger and Carrie had their fair share of moments of laughter and life lessons though the biggest surprise came Carrie's way when Berger decides to break up with her on a Post-It note.  Yep, you read that properly...a Post-It note--the yellow colored square sticky pads which we write our reminders on and slap them where ever it will remain in our view.     Hours prior to him breaking up with Carrie, he decides to visit her place for a romantic night where he showers her with flowers and attention. Before Carrie wakes up in the morning, she finds the Post-It in her view and it reads the following, "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me". Ironically, Jack Berger was bold enough to tell Carrie he was interested in giving their relationship another try that same evening.

I never knew Post-Its can be that effective in relaying messages, considering their small size the messenger must be articulate and quick in dropping that note before getting caught and beaten over the head.
There are many ways of breaking up with dates, girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses and more.   Does a Post-It break up count as a legit way of breaking up? Is a phone call or a formal message needed following such a message?  One would say no because if the person had any form of admirable communication skills, the messenger would have opted for another method of communication.  

Are there more creative ways of breaking up? Yes!

Having some trouble cutting ties with your date because you are unable to address the final good bye without being cajoled into giving it 'another try'? Let me assist you in closing this deal and moving on without lingering doubts or guilt. How you communicate the message determines whether there is any room for future opportunities in the l-o-v-e department.

Calling Men-Lay Off the Dialing

Women have it in their DNA that they must be acknowledged AND this must be done on their time-not the man's, not the universe's; not even their mother's. One common challenge that women battle is communicating with their man, whether she is dating him or in a relationship, it appears women need to be more self-aware of how and when they approach their partners. Society and media infiltrates our mind with notions that Men are from Mars while Women are from Venus; therefore this spoon-feeding of battle of the sexes will not cease until humans transform their habits in the world of communication.

Though men and women coexist, it is obvious we still have not mastered how to address one another. This is not necessarily in regards to respecting one another; in fact this is in regards to space recognition and perception. It is no secret women are more likely to pick up that phone and start dialing away until they reach their men on the other end. It can be texting, calling, leaving messages--basically inundating his phone with her energy until he reacts.

Her chances of receiving a response from him plummets as she keeping exerting more effort in seeking a reaction from him. He will in fact reciprocate with nothing, yes nothing. This will make the women realize she is ultimately communicating with herself, over and over again. To make things worse, he may only respond with one word, "ok". This is a sure-fire way to get the lady steaming.
Ladies, lay off the auto-dialer and breathe.

(Image Credit: Ydhsu, Daniel)

If you're doing all the work, why should he even bother? Right? Also live for yourself and not for your man. Men may come and go but a lady's dignity should remain intact at all times.

It is easier said than done so keep this mantra in mind, "I shall respect and honor myself at all times". Respect yourself-learn it, practice it and repeat it. When you do make contact, keep it short and sweet. When his senses are flooded with ten thoughts attacking him at once, it is inevitable he will stop responding to anything past the initial introduction. Tell him what he needs to know, not what you think he wants to know. Ladies, he needs a reason to touch base again, right?

A little mystery can go a long way.

Remember, hands off the auto-dialer and the texting...for now.