Put A Ring On It

Breaking Up with a Post-It Note

Remember the episode where Carrie gets dumped by her boyfriend "Berger" in 'Sex and the City'?   Loyal viewers of the show knew that Berger wasn't the one for Carrie though he did make a decent companion for her to date while taking a break from her two loves, Mr. Big and Aidan.    Berger and Carrie had their fair share of moments of laughter and life lessons though the biggest surprise came Carrie's way when Berger decides to break up with her on a Post-It note.  Yep, you read that properly...a Post-It note--the yellow colored square sticky pads which we write our reminders on and slap them where ever it will remain in our view.     Hours prior to him breaking up with Carrie, he decides to visit her place for a romantic night where he showers her with flowers and attention. Before Carrie wakes up in the morning, she finds the Post-It in her view and it reads the following, "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me". Ironically, Jack Berger was bold enough to tell Carrie he was interested in giving their relationship another try that same evening.

I never knew Post-Its can be that effective in relaying messages, considering their small size the messenger must be articulate and quick in dropping that note before getting caught and beaten over the head.
There are many ways of breaking up with dates, girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses and more.   Does a Post-It break up count as a legit way of breaking up? Is a phone call or a formal message needed following such a message?  One would say no because if the person had any form of admirable communication skills, the messenger would have opted for another method of communication.  

Are there more creative ways of breaking up? Yes!

Having some trouble cutting ties with your date because you are unable to address the final good bye without being cajoled into giving it 'another try'? Let me assist you in closing this deal and moving on without lingering doubts or guilt. How you communicate the message determines whether there is any room for future opportunities in the l-o-v-e department.

Just the Way You Are

Think of how fortunate you are for being accepted and loved for who....you are! Enjoy ;)

Is He Investing as Much as You in This Relationship?

So now you're past the butterflies stage where you wait for your date to arrive for dinner, you two have a great time and then somehow the night miraculously transforms itself into the morning.  A new day has begun, where you two part and go about your day.  Days past, weeks past and months are slowly treading upon the first anniversary coming up.     You begin to ask yourself, is he present only for the good times or is he here for the long haul.  Well, if he rarely took you out to dinner and then pointed it out that it was a favor...there's no faster way of testing a woman's nerves.  Let the man invest in you, let him earn you and if he complains about it....let him know the Exit sign is there for a reason. 

The Power of Energy

Every thought in our mind comprises of energy, a powerful source that drives our lifestyle for better or worse. It can be curious, anxious, positive, negative, and aggressive and many other forms of energy that permeate our environment communicating with the universe what we are seeking.    Although it is hard to believe, we can control our thoughts and filter what messages we want to share with the universe so the universe can work parallel to our desires.

Positive thoughts yield positive outcomes.
Negative thoughts yield not so favorable outcomes.
Anxiety, fear and worry delay the universe in responding to our needs because such emotions start resisting the energy that is working itself towards us.   Communicating with energy is a two way street: what we communicate is what we attract.  If you have encountered challenging dating experiences which led them to give up on seeking love, then chances are opportunities in your love life will slowly cease to exist. Time to time, I do have clients confess that they are tired of dating and they are content being alone. Out of this sample population, I believe 10% of those clients mean what they say.  Yes, happiness comes from within, where one should not rely on another human being to make them happy. To find balanced love, it is essential for the person seeking such asset to align their mindset with their desired outcomes.  

After all we plant the seeds of our thoughts in our mind, which ultimately manifest our subconscious desires.     People may interpret the term 'desires' in a positive connotation; to the contrary, one must realize that desires can be positive or negative.  For example, if a woman believes that she will never find love, then she will not find it.   Depending on how strong that specific belief resides within her, love will not easily find her.    Where as, if a man tells himself that his life partner exists in the universe, sooner or later his partner will appear before him. It is only a matter of time the universe delivers what we attract in our lives--this can be in our personal, social, professional and other facets of our lives.

How can one change their energy?   A minor adjustment can make a huge difference overtime.    How we perceive, interpret and react to our environment is a by product of energy that swirls around us when we are awake and sleeping.    As an exercise, you can keep a gratitude journal. If writing is not your forte, then before ending the day try to count three blessings from your day.  These blessings are three things that you are thankful for: it can be a small gesture as someone holding the door open for you to having your errands run smoothly.   Basically name three things or people that enlightened your day.  There are blessings to count even on a bad day when things may not 'appear' well yet in fact the universe may be trying to guide you into the right direction. Start from noting three blessings a day and work yourself up to acknowledging five a day. It is amazing how our outlook changes when we are self aware of the positive things that exist in our life.  

Soon you will realize that things that would irritate you automatically iron themselves out to serve you better.     Gratitude can bring more abundance into your life, because the universe is infinite in delivering our wishes.    It is human nature for us to demand things right here-right now due to living in a fast paced world that one may doubt the effectiveness of such exercises.   With consistency and positive intent one is capable of attracting the good in their life while retaining the residual benefits of their actions. Energy works just like karma; it never dies and keeps traveling in different forms ultimately delivering the universe's message to your door.

Safety Tips for Online Dating

Finding a date in today's age can only take few seconds at a matter of a click. Compared to two decades ago, dating websites and dating services have increased exponentially to bring men and women together from all over the world.  Some of the websites are very specific in nature serving heterosexuals, homosexuals, people with specific hobbies, ethnicity and religion, business professionals, and the list continues. It is impossible to come across such sites and not be force fed that our lover and possibly soul mate is waiting to hear from us. It is an effective way of meeting people who are always preoccupied with work that they do not have time to invest in meeting people on regular basis. Below are few safety tips for online dating intended for both genders:

1. Be creative and HONEST when writing your dating profile. If possible use a recent picture of yourself that portrays your personality. For those who are shy, it is understandable why they may want to fore go posting a picture, though I would highly recommend a picture. A picture communicates to viewers that you are a real person who is approachable and is making an active effort to meeting like minded people. Usually profiles without a picture are overlooked regardless of the content because people need a visual stimuli to lure their interest onto YOU. A picture is worth a thousand words so post a picture that is classy and a natural shot. Also keep your profile short and sweet, no one is intending to read your life story. Leave such details to share over a possible date.

2. Just as dating on the streets, use COMMON SENSE when communicating with your potential partners. Do not disclose too much personal information on your profile, it is okay to share your first name if you choose but do leave a bit of mystery to your identity. Identity theft is one of the top five crimes in this country. So it is foolish to display where you work, your specific home address and material that will trace back to YOU other than your screen name. It does not take a rocket scientist to connect the dots and start using your personal information against you. Profiles with pictures receive much incoming mail, therefore use discretion when responding to these messages. You are not expected to respond to any if you choose not to, do not feel bad if certain messages are not answered. Also if there are any individuals disrespecting and harassing you online, you should be able to block them on the website. Only share your phone number when you feel comfortable and do keep in mind it is not unusual for some profiles to be fake. Yes, there are people out there who do not have much to do-sad but true.

3. This message is intended more so for the ladies: keep a buddy system. When you are ready to go out on a date, let a friend or contact know that you'll be out meeting someone. You do not have to share the details but most importantly you are letting another person know you are out and about busy meeting someone.  If it is a close friend, you can let them know where you are expecting to go.  Therefore as a safety mechanism, your buddy will be aware of your whereabouts and know that your date is going smoothly without any problems. Due to the advent of technology, it is common for people to chat more so than talk on the phone. Make sure you have spoken at least once with the individual you are planning to meet. It is comforting to know the person that you are communicating with has a voice other than a virtual presence.

4. Have an exit strategy. If a date is going not as expected and your partner appears to be belligerent or starts acting disrespectful, have a back up plan ready. YOU choose to stay or go in this situation. It is best to have the first date in a public location for safety purposes, in case anything happens you will be a familiar face that someone can recall. Also if you are granted an option to pick a place, take advantage of this as you decide which environment makes you feel comfortable and represents you the best.

5. Lastly if you choose to get intimate with any of your partners, remember to practice safe sex because you'll never know where they were the night before (or after). Contracting STDs from a random or an online date doesn't sound too hot to me (grinning).

Last Night On Earth