Monday, October 31, 2011

Be Careful What You Wish For

It’s that ideal job, ideal home or even perhaps that ideal relationship that one yearns for yet has no clue that there is no standard ideal in this world. If ladies are seeking a man with specific looks, income or lifestyle just remember that there is always a catch. The catch doesn’t become apparent in the short term yet instead it surfaces on its own in the long term. What is this catch? It can range from settling with the wrong partner for the wrong reasons to being with a partner hoping they will change. Folks, people cannot change other people. People may influence other people though heed that change can only transpire from within or else—one will be waiting forever to realize that we can only work miracles on ourselves. Majority of us have a checklist for meeting our ideal mates, where we’re made to believe that every box on the list needs to be marked off to immune oneself from relationship problems. Not so. If an individual finds a mate that meets 80% of the characteristics they are seeking in a date, it is considered a healthy sign to proceed exploring the relationship further with this match.

Be Careful What You Wish For
It is not possible for couples to relate to one another 100% as long as there are two separate minds situated in the same air space, there is apt to be difference in opinion which ultimately leads to some situational conflicts. Many couples perceive that conflict serves as a bad ingredient to a relationship but those who are smart to engage in conflict resolution can testify that 90% of the time it can only improve the state of the existing relationship. So how is the latter 20% accounted for when our prospect matches 80% of our checklist? It is the latter 20% that makes the relationship interesting from introducing the partners to different mindsets, lifestyles and challenges that nurture the dynamics of this evolving union. Is this 80/20 ratio valid for all couples? Not all the time. The ratio may vary in favor of the couple or it may not lead marriage counselors to believe that the 80/20 rule sets forth a healthy baseline from which a relationship can flourish. Among those couples that pass the 80/20 rule, these couples encountered less arguments yielding one down moment for every five positive moments spent together. It’s never too late to assess where one’s relationship stands so the proper measures can be implemented to move on forward with clarity leaving behind any remnants of uncertainty. Do you know where you stand?

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