Getting Married in San Francisco :D

As 2012 rolls around within days, it is exciting to know the energies from the past three to five years will shift for the benefit of us all starting January.    It is intended to be a very powerful year where individuals make peace with themselves, confront their past and face the future fearlessly and also start new beginnings with a bang---a romantic kick off in San Francisco, one of my favorite cities in the world!  There are no words to describe the ambiance that embraces you when one lands at San Francisco International Airport crossing paths with herds of people either entering or leaving the city.  It is only when people skate their way into the true city, lovers and all alike find ways to leave their mark for all others to see.  

So who wants to get married in San Francisco?   Regardless from where travelers visit, San Francisco is a VERY romantic place to marry and if one is inclined to have a quickie -in all ways possible- go ahead for no one will stop you!    Getting married at City Hall is very simple,   go online to make a reservation,  appear for your appointment and va la' you are married.
Here are the resources to help facilities the mission of getting married in a la San Francisco:  visit SFGov  for detailed guidance, after reviewing the instructions, one is lead to create an account & book a reservation.
If individuals would like a magnate to marry them at a specific site or location, allow room to confirm arrangements prior to the date of the wedding as well note that a higher fee is charged for customized requests.

Let the count down begin as someone has to get ready for an appointment!

Courtesy: Sasha Wedding Photography

Let Him Chase You Until You Catch Him

It was a few years ago this phrase had surfaced among the dating and reading circles. When one ponders over it, well...it is true that the man should pursue this lady in the chase as it captivates his attention and elates the sentiments of the lady. It is okay to become a challenge in the midst of being pursued though there is a clear line between playing games for Ms. Wake Up has never been a fan of playing games nor is this a platform for an endorsement of such. To interpret "let him chase you until you catch him' from a dignified perspective means that the man should make the effort in getting to know his object of affection, should be the one to initiate (leadership and chivalry never go out of style) and both smart individuals in this scenario know how to keep the power dynamics in balance if there are ever going to get to that first kiss, hmm perhaps date. In essence it's not about winning a prize yet it's being able to hold and engage a lover's attention before one of them pops due to anticipation! Curiosity did kill the cat.

Courtesy: Dating After Forty-Eight

Breaking Up During the Holidays

Breaking up with a partner is not a delightful experience; yet breaking up during the holidays where people are counting on some cheer is even more challenging. These 'break-ups' leave the dumped partner even more emotionally sensitive because there is a pretense that implies this individual couldn't save the relationship at all costs. It's okay folks-- it takes a strong soul to do the dumping and a stronger soul to realize there is a reason why they are being dumped! In the spirit of the holidays, let's rejoice on behalf of all the lovers who woke up in time to break up with their lovers. For those who were let go this year, perhaps they should realize they had opportunities of making up before they saw their hearts flutter out that door for the last time. Hmm...Isn't it refreshing to wake up to an empty bed not knowing who will warm these sheets next? Yes....perhaps it's the mystery and anticipation that keeps us at bay from losing our sanity.

Courtesy: Men Myself and God

Until next time, remember couples will either "break up, wake up or make up". Which one will be you?

To those tying the knot as the year ends, congrats!
To those waiting to tie the knot, stay awake!
To those waiting for the right one, keep your flirt on ;)

Sexxxy!

Credit: www.thisnext.com

A Bittersweet Moment

"The gray looming clouds have lifted as the sun shines through illuminating a rainbow over a mirage of red autumn leaves.   A sense of peace eases her breathing as cool air permeates her chest creating a sensation prompting a reminder that the past is only the past where as the next chapter has already begun.  Hope never surfaced within tracing old foot prints that only lead to a secluded cave of anonymity and seclusion.  Trudging through her new tracks, a sigh of relief, ultimately confirmed what she was waiting for is finally here.  The sun caressing her face didn't make her flinch as she continued walking away from the voices calling her name.   Bright beams of light blinded her as she stepped on to the round pebbles rolling her towards the new life. As the voices drowned in the back of her mind, there only remained one glaring mysterious shadow waiting to greet her—into the unknown. "         

Carla Bruni: Love, Marriage & Work

Be Careful What You Wish For

It’s that ideal job, ideal home or even perhaps that ideal relationship that one yearns for yet has no clue that there is no standard ideal in this world. If ladies are seeking a man with specific looks, income or lifestyle just remember that there is always a catch. The catch doesn’t become apparent in the short term yet instead it surfaces on its own in the long term. What is this catch? It can range from settling with the wrong partner for the wrong reasons to being with a partner hoping they will change. Folks, people cannot change other people. People may influence other people though heed that change can only transpire from within or else—one will be waiting forever to realize that we can only work miracles on ourselves. Majority of us have a checklist for meeting our ideal mates, where we’re made to believe that every box on the list needs to be marked off to immune oneself from relationship problems. Not so. If an individual finds a mate that meets 80% of the characteristics they are seeking in a date, it is considered a healthy sign to proceed exploring the relationship further with this match.

Be Careful What You Wish For
Credit: www.rupertwhite.co.uk

It is not possible for couples to relate to one another 100% as long as there are two separate minds situated in the same air space, there is apt to be difference in opinion which ultimately leads to some situational conflicts. Many couples perceive that conflict serves as a bad ingredient to a relationship but those who are smart to engage in conflict resolution can testify that 90% of the time it can only improve the state of the existing relationship. So how is the latter 20% accounted for when our prospect matches 80% of our checklist? It is the latter 20% that makes the relationship interesting from introducing the partners to different mindsets, lifestyles and challenges that nurture the dynamics of this evolving union. Is this 80/20 ratio valid for all couples? Not all the time. The ratio may vary in favor of the couple or it may not lead marriage counselors to believe that the 80/20 rule sets forth a healthy baseline from which a relationship can flourish. Among those couples that pass the 80/20 rule, these couples encountered less arguments yielding one down moment for every five positive moments spent together. It’s never too late to assess where one’s relationship stands so the proper measures can be implemented to move on forward with clarity leaving behind any remnants of uncertainty. Do you know where you stand?

Hope

Hope, courtesy of  STCS

A Date Ending at Yotel

Two people meet on a date, sparks fly, great dinner--great music--great wine and since they are seeking 'perhaps more'...why not consider more at Yotel?   Yotel is a high end, hi-tech hotel that has locations in New York City and London.   With its very futuristic & James Bond-"ish" feel, almost all operations of this hotel are automated from the time the visitors check-in to the moment they bid farewell to the 'Yobot'.    This odyssey minded ambiance provides the ideal get away with its fair share of entertainment, lounges, terraces and studios which provide visitors an escape from the their typical hotel experience.  The rates may be a bit pricey yet there is no other competitor that can offer such an experience leaving one to ponder when will more cities adopt this metropolitan allure.   Yotel's presence is not solely marketed as a tech savvy hotel, in fact there is plenty of modern architecture, art work and gadgets to keep one busy that the 'more' portion of the date can 'perhaps' just wait.    "So is it your place or mine or...?"

Credit: Tots and Travel

Granting a Fair Chance in Dating

What is it with women judging men off the bat?   Give the man a chance, a fair chance. By observing the dating circles, it is apparent that some women are too uptight to enjoy and have a good time as the man takes a chance to be enchanted by her company. Such women walk into their dates with an attitude to deliver a laundry list for what they want in a man yet they are not ready to make themselves available for the man.   It is okay to know what she wants in a man but first impressions go a long way so this isn't exactly the right way of seeking a man--anywhere, anytime, anyhow.   It's good to know she practices self-respect while exuding self esteem though do not overwhelm a man, who's still considered a stranger, on a first date by intimidating him with all these expectations. He made a choice to show up after inviting her (not all dates come to fruition just because a meeting is agreed upon) so why not give him a fair chance? A fair chance means allowing oneself to have a good time while learning about him during the date and perhaps some more.    Don't read into his every word, just enjoy the moment.  Assess a man based off his actions not words for men who are anxious & confused may say what they feel one may 'want' to hear than 'need' to hear.  Honesty at times may contain a bare bones message yet people don't appreciate it until later in time. Be honest with thyself and respect the date for it can only set off good karma into the universe. A date that already has preset conditions is starting off on a shaky note because some things that begin awkwardly can turn out better; likewise there are meetings that turn out great but the passion dies out by the second or third date.  It is 'ok'. Breathe, relax and have fun in the process. Not every date is a passage to a long-term relationship or marriage. If one can't enjoy the present, they will not be content a week from now or perhaps a year from now. What you see is what you get. Are you putting your best foot forward when you are out meeting people?  Dating doesn't come easily to a lot of people therefore keep some courtesy in mind.
  
Granting a date a fair chance doesn't mean to keep a partner around for weeks dragging or for months if one already knows that is not the partner for them.  The point of dating is to have a good time while seeking the right partner for oneself. There are plenty of fish in the ocean, some are hiding within the deep blue waters where more patience & a stronger bait is needed. Only the strong survive. Good luck!

Time to Celebrate, Syrah Syrah!

Whether one indulges in wine tasting or wine drinking on regular basis, it is wise to know the caloric content of those mesmerizing wines that enable one to flirt with a stupor after a long week.   There are a handful of couples who engage in wine drinking that it is only a few months later the couple realize they've put on weight through the consumption of wines. The offense is not the act of drinking wine but the quantity of wine consumed.   Curious to know how many calories of wine you're consuming? Take a look here.
For wine drinkers that are interested in seeking exclusive membership to tasting fine wines, consider shopping at Virgin Wines.  Shopping at Virgin Wines not only grants customers great bargains yet one's Virgin account is credited with points so they can be redeemed while flying on their carrier.  If one's taste palette's are yearning for wine from the Americas, Africa, Europe and other exotic locations, scroll through their selection and click 'check out.'. The order shall arrive within a few business days.  
After a long day, a little Bordeaux can't hurt. ;)

Credit: Virgin Vines
"You've made it through another week, Syrah Syrah!"-Ms. Wake Up

"I Love You Came Too Late"

"So you took a chance, made other plans..."

Memorable Introductions: DarkMan69

This enigmatic character surfaced out of thin air one fall day when Ms. Wake Up was surfing the web for a specific item. Somehow the web results mysteriously caught cached pages of items that were correlated yet not directly linked to DarkMan69’s written material. While skimming the search results, it only appeared practical to see what DarkMan69 wanted the world to know. His writing covered an array of politics, the infinite facets of human beliefs while restraining his dogma from segregating his audiences; as well exuding enough ephemeral presence to lure interest from strangers.  Apparently it remains unknown to this day if it was the writing or the mystifying picture that made Ms. Wake Up drop by for a dose of current events.   

Credit: '80MillionMovies'

C’mon folks, it’s DarkMan69. How can you not know this? Ms. Wake Up will tell you why. This is how the conversation manifested over hmm…his highness (rolling eyes).

“I noticed your picture was titled DarkMan69.  Any deep insight behind the title?”

“It was a picture taken quite some time ago.”

“Is the 69 alluding to a personal preference for….”

“It’s my birth year. Why? “

“Ah, never mind, (sigh) there goes my mojo.”

*Notice the difference how men and women communicate?*

Prenuptial Agreements: Hot or Not?

Relationships today present more opportunities as more women are taking advantage of resources that enable them to engage more competently with their male counterparts. As the dynamics of family life have morphed within the past three decades, it is clearly apparent that women are also breadwinners in their families’ as well strong contributors to their relationships.    It is common yet not unheard of that couples that are intending to get married will entertain a prenuptial agreement.  A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that protects the assets & rights of the initiating party, or both parties, in case the couple chooses to divorce later in time.    Traditionalists view prenuptial agreements as a blasphemous benefit that is already preparing the couple in question to split up hence making it appear that it's not a matter of if they will split up, where as it's a matter of when they split up.   
Proponents of this agreement feel it is an amicable option for both individuals to consider before getting married for one never knows what the future holds. If there is a disparity of income among couples, if one individual owns more valuable assets or even if one wants their marital rights stated in writing, it is not a bad idea to entertain a prenuptial agreement.  Whether one feels such agreements are romantic or not, both individuals will have to address these practical matters sooner or later. Some may get offended and feel their devotion to their partner is being questioned, only considering a prenuptial agreement should not be taken personally, it should be addressed similarly to everyday business.   The intent of sharing the following example is not to equate people and their emotions to being treated like objects though there is a similar notion of one protecting themselves. If an individual purchases a new car along with car insurance, the intent there is to protect the car if something happens to it. Like wise, people who choose to purchase health insurance do so in order to protect themselves if an emergency takes place.  Similarly, a prenuptial agreement exists to protect individuals in a marriage. It is an optional item to consider when making preparations for one's marriage.  Having one doesn't guarantee that the marriage will be more successful than going without it, though it does offer a peace of mind among the couple where there are less worries over protecting assets thus freeing their energy to be invested in enriching their relationship.

Ten Signs He Will Not Marry You

1.   You're enjoyed the presence of one another while dating and as many months pass you are yet to meet his friends and family. Having kept you as a secret in today's age of romance doesn't equate more than disrespect to you as a woman and a person.   It is also a sign he is unsure how you play a role into his life. Stop the waiting game and move on if this view doesn't change--fast.  Waiting is exactly like worrying, it doesn't alleviate the problem it just keeps delaying the outcome from appearing in the present.  Time is too precious to waste, save your loving energy for someone that respects you at all levels.


2.   Making plans to spend time together is exciting yet not so glamorous when he regularly utters the words "when we get a chance," "I'm busy," "perhaps another time," while the list of excuses just pile up with no definitive sign that he chooses to invest his resources in you.  Stalling tactics are very common among men (and women do it too, it's a two-way street) BUT if his actions do not provide a positive forecast in this relationship, it's better to cut your chances short and move on. When a man wants to be with a woman, he will rearrange his daily routine to even get a glimpse of her in person or hear her voice over the phone.   Ms. Wake Up's Dating Encyclopedia includes stories ranging from good men to silly boys she has encountered.  You need a man not a male or a boy.   You are his equal, not his mother or his babysitter. 


3.  "I'm busy with work."  Expanding upon this stalling tactic, let's be real--we women use that excuse too when we are unsure if we want a particular man around us.   There are men who are focused on their careers so they can live a comfortable life while becoming better providers for their partner later in life.     When a man is waiting to hit a certain 'financial range' in his career, meanwhile he delays getting into a relationship or even considers getting married, he is letting his excuse sabotage his well being like a double-edged sword.  Money does make the world go round as it is a critical component in making relationships work because when there is a limited supply of money, couples start arguing over it. To avoid such hiccups in relationships, people do tend to keep themselves from getting too serious when it comes to matters of the heart.  Ultimately the man should realize that money comes and go while there is no guarantee that lady luck will wait long enough for him. One doesn't need to be a millionaire in order to marry, the focus is more on living a comfortable lifestyle not hitting bulls-eye with a particular finance target.


4.   If your partner reacts passively to your life goals and doesn't make an effort to learn more about who you are, chances are either he already has an exit strategy in place or he's bidding time before you two run out of fuel to move forward from this relationship.     Some men are emotionally passive so this doesn't hold true for all cases though this uneven distribution of attention will cause resentment from the woman's end if she is the more supportive partner in the relationship.   He can't act like Switzerland for too long in a relationship because it is a bad sign if he isn't sharing any interest or opinion regarding your lifestyle.  There is a difference between being respectful of a partner's choices and not caring an inkling about a loved one.   


5.   Cheap men. Enough said. Ms. Wake Up's pet peeve of all time is cheapness in people. If one has the resources and they still choose to skimp out on enjoying life, do us all a favor and sit this one out.  Not all women and men date one another with the intent of seeking financial security.   Cheapness is referred here in the context of going out on simple dates as the woman is left to either pay for herself, or the guy doesn't extend the effort to treat this worthwhile lady.   This is more so applicable when a couple starts dating and it is with time they find a steady groove of knowing how to handle these situations.   There is no free lunch in the business world; likewise, there is no free lunch in the dating world. If she didn't pay for it, we're pretty sure she earned it by investing her time and energy with this guy.  


6.  Everything has become a power struggle.  If he needs constant validation and assurance that you two are doing well together, feel free to stick another red flag in the ground "if and when" you reach a relationship milestone.  An insecure man will keep his partner off balance so he doesn't have to face his own fears and insecurities in a relationship. To him it's all about having the last word (even when he knows he is wrong but thinks he is right).  It's not the woman's job to fight for her relationship all the time when in fact she is not aggravating the relationship concerns.  While he is watching you fight for a relationship that is not meant to be, check out now before it's too late.    He can be granted time to address these issues on a personal level yet it was not the woman who brought these insecurities out of him. These fears were always residing in him as they are still unaddressed to this day.  His behavioral patterns will keep resurfacing until he chooses to change his ways.


7.  There is no sense of urgency.   Is he too laid back and over confident in knowing that you are going no where?   Well, shame on him.    He has already started taking you for granted so now he feels immune from working hard to keep this relationship progressing forward. ALL relationships take a lot of work, therefore one should not treat any relationship to be on cruise control. Such feelings only get worse with time because he may be thinking that you already understand his 'unspoken thoughts' for how this relationship will manifest.  The things that ultimately contibute to a successful relationship are mutual respect, trust and SPOKEN thoughts.



8. If your man had or has a history of any form of addiction, there are chances he will not be skipping down the altar anytime soon.   There are many recovered addicts that do marry and live fulfilling lives following their past experiences.   To the contrary, there are addicts and substance abusers who claim to be clean but still they are using in secrecy.   A smart person knows that nothing remains secret for too long, so if he utters out of self confidence that everything is under self-control, it means "It is not!!!!".    Many people have their reputations to protect while there are many material resources that can be sacrificed over night, although it doesn't mean those same individuals do not enjoy living life on the edge.   If he (acknowledging that he was a substance abuser) is very protective of disclosing his phone contacts, his past associations and more, chances are his past is not out of his system.  Ladies, just because you don't see him engage in these activities in front of you doesn't mean that he is clean.  This blurb isn't to encourage distrust in relationships but it is to relay the reality that old habits die hard while there is no overnight cure.   Second chances are for people who EARN them.  This matter is reserved to be addressed by a qualified professional.  


9.  Liar-liar, pants on fire?   If you feel more like a detective than his girlfriend, then perhaps you need to start considering new careers.   Insecurity and jealousy brings out the worst in both partners in a relationship so if there is no desire to "talk about it" then start preparing a life without this man.  Just because he may show signs that something is up doesn't always mean where there is smoke, there is fire.  There doesn't have to be trouble lurking to prompt lying over small and big things.  


10.  If your gut is telling you something is not right, it probably is not.    Remember if it's the right man, there will be no feeling of tugging in your gut. Love is abundant and love knows no boundaries.   Going against a gut feeling just means the truth will surface with time. When a man or woman says "there's nothing," there is always something!

Getting Ex'ed by Text

Here is an interesting excerpt from Mimi Tanner's column, people read this s-l-o-w-l-y.

"How should one respond to such a text message? Please don't dignify that with ANY response - at least not by text.  And the little "holiday texts" - are you supposed to be impressed or consoled by those? If those are  all that's left after the Breakup Text, they're equally lame and ridiculous! They're annoying, too.  You don't really want your pleasant day to be interrupted by Mr. I'm-Sure-You-Want-To-Get-My Happy-Mothers-Day-Text.

When a person gets Exed by Text, the best response is DEAD SILENCE. Nothing is more effective than that. And no one can fault you for it, either. If your ex gets mad about your lack of response to their Text Drama, then consider their anger to be a form of manipulation. Don't let it guilt you into a response you were not planning to make. If he asks you (in person) if you got his "Happy Easter" text, just say "Yeah, I got it," without further comment or emotion of any kind. You're not trying to keep the conversation going anymore. You have moved on!"

Now coming back to the present if anyone out there needs a little nudge in breaking up from their partner, Ms. Wake Up will be glad to put things into perspective for you as well write a letter on your behalf addressed to the one getting ex'ed. The letter is to assist you in delivering the break-up news, whether it relayed via an email, a phone call or in-person.

Do not join the ignorant men and women who lack the decorum of relaying news face to face. After all, possessing dignity means knowing how to handle life circumstances with tact and diplomacy regardless of the personalities involved.

If you haven't found Mr.Right, no worries, there are plenty of Mr. Right Now's swimming among us. ;)

Do You Believe in Life After Love?

Dating with a Purpose

In a world where men and women struggle to make time their ally than their enemy, individuals today have become more selective of choosing their partners in dating.  After all busy people choose carefully how they spend their leisure time because every moment counts where one is making progress or standing still.   In this case, both genders are known to be 'dating with a purpose'.  This means men and women have an objective in mind and intend to fulfill it by filtering their dating potentials before deciding whether they are worthy of a date or not.   Some individuals may choose to date for fun while seeking a casual relationship while some may prefer to screen partners in hopes of finding a long term partner, or a marriage potential.    The days of 'old romance' are gone where men and women would court one another without knowing what is to come next.   In today's age majority of people want to take control of their love lives by engaging in person and online dating for finding suitable partners in a reasonable amount of time.   Although we can control our actions and efforts, it is not always easy to cooperate with the universe when it comes to divine timing.  Any situation that involves more than one person to attain progress (such as dating), one cannot control when their partner will walk into their life or the context of their meeting.  Dating extracts many emotions from people since it is an exciting activity which at the same time can leave one a bit frustrated and skeptical if the right partner for them doesn't appear soon enough to their liking.  For some dating with a purpose may appear a bit harsh because some folks may not have a fair chance at dating if they are quickly overlooked for more viable partners; to the contrary the seeker is saving time and energy in their already hectic lifestyle.   These dating warriors are respectable yet direct in letting people know what & whom they are seeking and why.  If two individuals meet and their intents are different, chances are high this couple will not make it past their second date.    Whether you are seeking short or long term companionship, keep your search honest, simple and fun.  When one stops having fun in their live experiences, the outcome doesn't hold much value because someone forgets to enjoy the journey!

Is It Time to Change Our Habits or Change Our Partners?

Humans are creatures of habit (there is no secret about that).   We all thrive upon few elements that make us bond with the universe through seeking predictability in life around us, security, and fulfilling our basic needs.   First, people seek predictability and consistency in people around them because it gives them a sense of comfort in knowing life is running smoothly. When people and situations in life start going haywire, people have a sense of panicking over uncertainty.  For some uncertainty breeds anxiety, panic attacks, rampant contingency planning and more.   Those are the rare times when one's faith is tested in the universe because they do not know what or who is around the corner to change up their everyday routine.   Second, humans need security. Security comes in different forms from physical, emotional, spiritual, and financial and basically any form that accommodates an individual feeling confident and safe in the universe.   Not all forms of security may correlate to an individual’s self-esteem and confidence, though in most cases when one's lifestyle is in harmony with the universe they appear more secure in handling unexpected life circumstances around them. Third, humans have, do and will fulfill their basic needs to co-exist during their time on earth. There are no exceptions to the rule. Whether we are discussing raw basic needs such as water, air, food and sex or whether we are acknowledging the need of communication, attention and affection.

One challenge in relationships people face is when two lifestyles come together urging both partners to compromise in order to co-exist in the couple's physical and foremost mental space.  Women and men engage in creating these 'mental contracts' where they have expectations of what their partner will and will not do while dating or engaging in a relationship with them. Along with the expectations, they also create a negotiable and non-negotiable list for what may hinder their chances of sustaining a long term relationship.  The danger surfaces when these 'mental contracts' are not communicated to their partner.   So when one partner participates in behaviors that violate their partner's mental contract-fire works and some steam will rise eventually leading to debates, arguments and possibly some tough times along the road. 

The two most foreseeable outcomes include both partners communicating their 'mental contracts' explicitly to one another.   This will enable both individuals to voice their expectations and concerns that will lead both of them to acknowledge, consider and compromise in the future.   To the contrary, voicing such 'mental contracts' can also make the partners defensive in the relationship thus encouraging them to be in denial by understanding the stressors that are putting this relationship in question. In an ideal situation, one of the partners will approach the other by becoming proactive in improving the relationship by inquiring what measures can be taken salvage their relationship.

In another world when expectations are not communicated the partners' encounter frustration because their 'mental contracts' are not yielding the live results they were seeking in the couple's space.    Frustration basically is an emotional reaction to when an individual is expecting a particular outcome; instead something else manifests in its place.  Along with frustration, some individuals may develop the flight or fight response.  Either one or both partners will flee and/or avoid the situation at hand or they will choose to fight this out by exchanging their true feelings on this matter.  If neither partner chooses to act upon the opportunity to express their true thoughts regarding their habits for how they effect their relationship, both of them are engaging in a never ending cycle that will keep manifesting the same results in all their relationships.  If they keep repeating the same behaviors while expressing similar reactions in their relationships---chances are extremely low that their future relationships will be successful.

Relationships do iron themselves out with time, only it is up to the individuals to remain in the relationship or not. All relationships take effort no matter how great or small.

People have needs and if they are not met, there is someone for everyone to fulfill them.